


Sarcastic Asshat

by izawrites, reigningqueenofwords



Series: The Hawk Twins [21]
Category: Avengers, Marvel
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-06
Updated: 2019-07-06
Packaged: 2020-06-23 12:29:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,423
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19701394
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/izawrites/pseuds/izawrites, https://archiveofourown.org/users/reigningqueenofwords/pseuds/reigningqueenofwords





	Sarcastic Asshat

As you walked out, Deadpool was skipping towards your little group. “Parker and Y/N kissing in a tree. K-I-S-S-I-N-G.” He sang.

“Are you five?” You asked him.

“I’ve been told ten.” He stopped in front of you, patting the top of your head. “Put in a good word for me with your padre and I’ll get you a pizza?”

You looked at Parker who shrugged, but Tony sighed. “Yes, because she’s going to vouch for you when we can get her pizza at any time.”

“Actually…my phone was ruined in the explosion. So….” You said meekly. “I’m more for a new phone over pizza.”

“Well, my budget is currently about twelve dollars and some pennies in my washer. So I’ll have to get back to you on that.” He nodded.

“You mean a sarcastic asshat isn’t a lucrative job?” Tony asked.

Deadpool whipped his head toward the man of iron. “Oh, I’m sorry, I think you said thank you wrong.”

“Is this why Nat didn’t want to call him?” Vin whispered to Parker.

Parker nodded, whispering back. “He’s not your usual back up plan.” The three of you watched the two argue back and forth, no signs of letting up.

“You think you’re the cool uncle don’t you?” Wade hissed.

Tony laughed. “What would you know? You didn’t even know about them until today!”

“And they already like me better!” He said gleefully.

Vin held up his hands. “Whoa, leave me outta your little fight.”

“Little?” Deadpool gasped.

“You’re fighting like an old married couple.” You pointed out, somewhat amused.

Tony shot you a look. “Can we get to the safe house now?”

“Sure.” You shrugged. You giggled when you heard Deadpool mumble ‘party pooper’. “Is Parker coming?”

Tony nodded. “Probably best for now.”

That made you smile. “What about his Aunt May?” You asked. “Won’t she be worried?”

“I’ll call her.” Tony smirked at that.

“That look unnerves me.” You shuddered dramatically.

“Same.” Deadpool nodded, hand on his hip.

Tony rolled his eyes, shaking his head before walking a bit away to call May from his suit.

Parker wrapped an arm around your shoulders as you, Vin and Mr. Pool stayed off to the side. “I’m glad that you’re safe.” He told you, kissing your temple.

“I’m more glad you’re safe.” You hugged his middle.

He smiled at that. “Let’s hope there are no more life threatening issues any time soon for you.”

You nodded. “This one was rough. I was worried about our dad, too.”

“They all have each other’s back.” He assured you.

You took a deep breath and nodded. “I don’t know what’d do if anyone got hurt.”

Parker moved you to hold you to his chest. “Don’t think about that.”

You nuzzled into him, breathing in his scent. “I have strong feelings for you and that makes me scared.” You mumbled.

“I feel the same way.” He kissed the top of your head gently. “I’m afraid I’ll get hurt…and you’ll be left behind.”

You looked up at him, relieved he felt as strongly. You pecked his lips shyly, giving him a squeeze gently. “Ew.” You heard Deadpool and smiled. “COOTIES!”

“Don’t you have a super hot babe?” Tony asked as he came over.

“That I do. She doesn’t have cooties. I gave her a shot for that.” He then pointed to you both. “Stay safe. Though I’ve heard I make a great babysitter.”

It was your turn to blush a bright red, your face matching Parker’s at this point. “Good thing they aren’t having sex.” Tony snapped.

“You don’t know.” Vin added, earning a rather hard punch from you. “Ow.” He rubbed where you hit.

“Good.” You sent a glare at him.

Parker’s face couldn’t get any redder, sending Deadpool into a fit of laughter.

“He’s so innocent!” The black and red suited man giggled. “And he’s dating someone so not. It’s great.” He clapped. “I might need popcorn for this! Oh, can we stop and get some?!” He looked towards Tony, and you just imagined the childlike look that he was likely sporting under his mask.

“I don’t care you’re immortal, I’ll throw you off a cliff.” You told him.

He looked at you, shocked, hands on on his cheeks. “Moi? But we bonded!”

“And you’re embarrassing my boyfriend!” You countered.

“It’s so adorable, though. Look at that face and try to tell me that isn’t adorable! You just can’t.” He shrugged.

You couldn’t help but crack a smile at that as Parker was nuzzling into your shoulder. “Shut up.” You muttered.

“He’s turning you soft.” Vin snickered.

“I’m about to turn you soft.” You narrowed your eyes, half joking.

“My bets on her.” Deadpool nodded.

“Me, too.” Bucky spoke behind you, panting as he had ran up to catch up to you guys.

That made you chuckle. “You guys okay?” You asked.

“Little dirty, lotta sweaty.” Bucky chuckled. “I’m just happy all you guys are okay.”

You scrunched your nose. “Ew.”

He grinned, chuckling more. “Steve said he’ll meet us back at the spot.” He told Tony.

Tony nodded. “Get this asshole outta here, would you?” He motioned to Deadpool.

“Potty mouth.” Deadpool crossed his arms, looking at Bucky once before taking a step off to the side. “I’ll catch up with you guys later okay?”

You chuckled and nodded. “Later.”

Vin waved as he rushed off, chuckling as well. “Nice job, Bucky.” He gave you a dramatic bow, chuckling.

You nudged the super soldier. “You can be scary even though you’re a teddy bear.”

“Don’t tell my secret, doll!” He joked.

“Did you just call him a teddy bear…?” Vin raised an eyebrow.

You blushed. “He is!” You defended. “Don’t let that buffness fool you!”

Vin snorted and shook his head. “Buffness.” He thought that hysterical.

“Think I’m not buff kid?” Bucky teased.

He shook his head, still laughing. “The word is so weird.”

“You’re just a jerk.” You stuck your tongue out at him.

Tony shook his head at the relationship the two of you shared. “We can continue this at the safe house, okay?” He spoke up. “Not on the side of the street, guys.”

You both nodded, keeping quiet the rest of the journey. You just kept close to Parker, your fingers laced with his.

He squeezed your hand every so often, watching with concerned eyes at the different people of the city. Vin was on your other side, also keeping quiet. Despite the playful banter of before, the day was starting to wear on the three of you.

By the time Tony led you into the safe house, which was quite nice, you were leaning on Parker. “I’m gonna go tell your dad you’re safe, and tell him where we’re at.” Tony told you.

You nodded. “Thanks.” You followed Vin as he sat on one of the many plush chairs available. Getting comfortable with Parker, you knew that each of you were wondering about the others. 

As you shut your eyes all you could think about was your father and hoped he didn’t even have a scratch on him. How your emotions were shifting to a place you weren’t used to. You smiled as you felt Parker begin to play with your hair, causing you to nuzzle further into him. “Gross.” Vin half teased you.

“Just jealous.” You mumbled. “Once you find someone, you’ll be the same way.” you hoped he did. Your brother was your very best friend, and wanted him to have what you felt with Parker.

Vin shook his head. “I’d like to have fun first.” He teased. “So I have time.”

“This is fun.” You squeezed Parker’s middle. “You’re just boring.” You teased him back.

“I’ll let you win for today.” He chuckled, leaning his head back. “Don’t let it go to your head, though.”

“Too late.” You smirked to yourself.

“So, the others should be here just before dark.” Came Steve’s voice.

You opened your eyes at that. “That sounds great. Are you okay?”

He shrugged, but nodded. “I’m fine. Nothing major. How about you guys?”

Vin shrugged. “I’m better now. No injuries.”

You shrugged also. “I fell a bit with the blow at the tower, but other than that I’m fine.”

Steve’s eyes went to Parker. “What about you, Parker?”

“I-I’m fine sir.” His voice squeaked, indicating he was lying.

Crossing his arms over his chest, he raised an eyebrow. “Spill.”

“I’m fine!” Parker blushed, then sagged. “I think I have a broken rib or two.”

You sat up and looked at him. “How are you not in pain with me leaning on you?!”

He blushed further. “I didn’t want you to worry.” He told you gently with a small shrug. “I figured if you told me that I’d freak out, so I didn’t want you to feel that way.”

You looked at him worriedly. “Well now I’m freaking out!”

Steve motioned for him to stand. “Let’s go ice them.” He was firm, but not unkind. “Then when the others are back, we’ll have Bruce look them over, and then we’ll get them wrapped.”

Parker sulked a little. “But I’m fine.” He half whined.

“No, you aren’t.” Steve countered. “If you think that you have two broken ribs, we don’t want them getting worse. Now let’s go.”

“Yes, sir.” He sighed and followed after him. Arguing with Steve wouldn’t end well, so he knew it was best to just do what he was told. The second he lifted his shirt and saw Steve’s expression, he knew he should’ve said something earlier. “It might be worse than I thought.” He admitted meekly.

“Might be worse? Peter!” Steve looked at him worriedly, making him lay on a random table. “How were you not making it obvious you were in serious pain? There’s no way in hell that you’re not!”

“Hiding from May a lot has given me practice.” He blushed, hissing when he pressed against a bad spot. “You know she’d flip.”

Steve sighed. “You can’t hide this from your girlfriend.”

“I can try.” He almost pouted, closing his eyes as Steve got some ice bags. “I don’t want her freaking out.”

“She probably already is, kid.” Steve placed the bags across his torso. “You better tell me now if something else is hurting.”

Parker shrugged. “I’ve been so focused on my ribs I wouldn’t know.”

He nodded. “Well, then hopefully not. You’re staying here until Bruce gets back.”

Groaning, Peter closed his eyes. “Can you tell her how bad it is before she comes in here? You know she will be soon.”

“Sure, pal.” He gently ruffled his hair. “You did good today, except for this hiding it business.” He walked out with a deep breath.

When Steve came back in, you were goofing off with Vin. Seeing how serious he looked, your smile fell. “What’s wrong?”

Steve sighed. “I think it’s more than a couple ribs.” He sat next to you.

“Wait, what?” You asked. “Why? Is he okay?!”

He gently placed a hand on your arm. “It may be five or so ribs. He’s badly bruised.”

Your face paled as you got up and rushed into the room where Parker was. “Oh, Parker…”

“I’m sorry, sweetness.” He sighed. “I didn’t want you to worry.”

You ran your hand through his hair. “I hope these heal quickly.” You told him.

“Me, too.” He reached up and clasped your hand. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about these.” Parker told you. “I didn’t want you to worry.”

You nodded. “It’s okay, just next time tell me. Especially if I’m all over you.” When he blushed, you smiled and shook your head. “I don’t want to risk hurting you.”

“You never would.” He told you with a smile. “But, I’ll try not to hide stuff like this anymore.”

“Thank you.” You pecked his lips. “That means a lot to me.”

“You mean a lot to me.” He grinned.

You felt your heart skip a beat and you grinned right back. “You mean a lot to me, Spidey.” You teased him lovingly.

“A teenager is getting more love than me.” Bucky teased, freshly showered as he came to check on him. “No wonder he didn’t spill the beans on his ribs.”

“I’ll fight you.” You joked as he moved around Parker’s ice bags. “God, those look horrible. “ You winced.

“Kid did a number on himself.” Bucky muttered. “You’re lucky Steve didn’t put you in an ice bath.” He told the young superhero.

You shivered, not liking the sound of that. “He probably would have if we were at the tower.” Parker told him.

Bucky nodded in agreement. “I’ll ask if we’re getting food anytime soon.”

“You sound like Vin.” You smiled. “I’m sure that he’s ‘dying’ in there.” You chuckled. “I’m surprised he isn’t rioting.”

Bucky laughed at that. “I’ll go save him then.” He was glad that you were well enough to joke. He ruffled your hair as he walked out, dodging your smack with ease.

You fixed your hair as Parker watched you, pure adoration in his eyes. You blushed as you met his gaze and kissed his cheek. “Think my dad will let me stay with you tonight?”

“I have no idea.” He chuckled lightly.

“I’ll fight it.” You said softly, wanting to take care of him. “Even if we have to camp out in the living room.”

He smiled. “But, you need rest too.”

You shrugged. “Not like I have school at the moment.”

“Us either probably for a while.” He nodded.

“If they’re coming back, I’ll be either homeschooled or something soon.” You sighed.

“It’ll workout though.” He assured you, always taking your worries and lessening them. “It’s your last semester, so it’ll be over soon, too.” He reminded you.

You pecked his lips again. “You’re the just best boyfriend a girl could ask for.” You complimented him, seeing more than just a now with him.

He chuckled sheepishly. “Can I shut my eyes for a moment?” He looked in pain for a slight second before smiling.

“Of course.” You nodded. “I’ll go check on vin.”

He smiled as you left, instantly hissing when he was alone. “Shit.” He breathed.

While the ice felt good, the adrenaline was wearing off and now he was truly feeling the pain. He clenched his jaw and his eyes teared up as he tried his best to keep his breathing even. He thought maybe if he could fall asleep, it would be enough until Bruce came. He hoped he had something for the pain. 


End file.
